Is anyone still following me here?

Hi! You may remember this blog. You may not. I've moved to jerricklim.com. Its been a while since I've updated here so why don't you update your book mark too :)

REALLY NOT USED TO WORDPRESS!

Ok so i'm over @ wordpress now. But there are certain things about it that I don't... really like. But I think in time I'll get over it and learn to love it. Its such a powerful tool for blogging. And whatever I give up here on blogspot I more than make up for it on WP. So yeah. The transition has been seamless. ISH. But everyone should be able to see my blog on wordpress now.

Moving Over to Wordpress

Hey all! I'm moving over to Wordpress now. So you'll probably not see this page even. However, I'm working some issues out so bear with me for a bit!

Covo Bistro and Lounge

My first dinner after my Ah Kong's funeral truly was quite exquisite. It did not do all I needed to feel better, but I can say it did raise my family's morale a wee bit. I loved everything I had during the meal. The tuna, the starter... It seemed poetic. We who love and live by our food, would celebrate the ending of life and the loss by having food.

I've decided that I would like for my funeral, just one thing. Good food. Where my friends and family can gather to eat, drink and laugh. Laugh for their continued living and laugh for maybe I've found a better place. But mostly, laugh and celebrate the life I've lead, however imperfect it may be.

Its a little late, this post. But somehow. I couldn't post it... not until now at least.

A Light Satire: The Singaporean Man

NB: For those of you who have not the time/inclination to plow through this long post. I'll suggest reading the intro and conclusion. They're my summary points essentially. Though I do attempt to make some thoroughly entertaining commentary in the body text so don't ignore that either! Thanks y'all!

The Male Homo Sapien Singaporus (HSS) is generally found in the tropical island of Temasek where a strong and fatherly figure has created a pleasant if slightly euthanised environment for the healthy and wealthy breeding of HSSes. These HSSes vary in size, shape, colour, orientation, movie preference, dress sense, and general grooming habits. However compared to the HSes from other nations, they're ranked near bottom of the heap when it comes to engaging in mating rituals. Such epic FAIL, can be attributed to several factors, but a couple of which stand out in the mind of this writer.

First among them is a conservative upbringing. The conservative Singaporean must necessarily be taught never to think about, mention, question, ask about, look at, switch on his internet connection for, leave the country to obtain illegally, pay for, ask for, give jewelry for, get married for and most importantly perform the act of sexual intercourse of any sort. He or she is asked to make babies. But the act of doing so repulses the Singaporean so much and he is so lightly informed about the act of producing said baby, that he or she will have to indulge in copious amounts of food; readily available from convenient stores all around the island, in place of such an action. When there is a mention of such an action, the necessary response that has been taught over and over is to denounce the person/book/action as wrong/perverted/YOU STUPID MOTHER***** GO KISS A **** and DUCK YOUR FISH, flush, and then move swiftly away and stare intently at the large woman across the street holding the ice cream cone.

As a result of such repression, mainly on a societal level, as even as the government has tried, rather unsuccessfully to get the local populace to mate at a desirable level of 2.1 children per couple, it seems that social stigma will win the day as the Singaporean is forced to hold in any desire. Often the Singaporean will have to find some other avenue of expression of his or her feelings and these can range from Shopping on the tamer side, to flaming anyone who may stand in his or her way. The unfortunate thing is that also as a result of the repression, they are unable to find expression for those desires that may lurk, and as a result there are many severely socially crippled Singaporean men who would stare enviously at those who are more equipped *Hint: some of those who've lived outside the country/ are from outside the country* to speak to a person of the opposite sex/ he's attracted to.

It is NATURALLY a generalisation that this writer is writing about and he's more than aware that he is Singaporean. However, that is not to say that he feels that he's managed to overcome or even understand his own personal demons. He's just pointing out that stereotypes are rooted in truth and here the truth stands out. There are many men who are perfectly competant at attracting and handling themselves around women, but when faced with even the slightest provocation by another man, their caveman upbringing comes to fore and they're see passive aggressive/active aggression as the way to resolve such problems. They'll swear, they'll rant, they'll do everything it takes to make their displeasure known without actually saying what they really feel to object of all this brouhaha, the WOMAN in question. I present exhibit A.

A random person (female) I knew had posted a suggestive status post on FB, i responded in kind. The response provided was Huh?, to which i just repeated the status post. Shortly after this whole debacle, I received a message from the female's boyfriend basically cussing me out with a "take down notice". I had contemplated sending several messages back, one of which involved pointing out his lack of cojones and that he should be ashamed. In the end, i decided that it wasn't worth it, and just reported the message to Facebook as harassment.

This writer is shocked by the incompetent and necessarily deprived members of the male species of Homo Sapien Singaporeus. They are a shy, unassuming breed, but when provided the tools i.e. the Internet, unleash a passive aggressive manner that both bewilders the feminine sex and gives them a red colouring that can also be attributed to their inability to imbibe copious amounts of a liquid also known as Vodka-Lime. Ultimately, this writer would like to sign off with a simple plea. Get over yourselves guys, not everyone who talks to your Gfs are trying to STEAL them and if you were that insecure in the first place, she probably shouldn't be with you.

That's All.

My Grandfather

My grandfather has passed away. Aunt has asked me to write a eulogy. At a mild loss.

Please ask if you want details for wake etc.

I'm plurking now

As many of you out there probably already know, I am a voracious twitterer. However lately twitter's been having some troubles. Nothing that I've really noticed, just some things here and there, the most obvious one for me is that my twitter app on facebook has not been updated in a REALLY long time. SO yeah, I'm on Plurk, but I'm still gonna be on twitter coz most people ARE still on there, no point abandoning ship just coz everyone else is.

Which brings up a very interesting point about being part of the zeitgeist, i mean the whole point of being on these social journal style things means that you'll want to be seen and be heard, so if you migrate over to a new platform, you will have to rebuild these networks. So we'll see how it goes.

PS My Plurk User is jerricklim and the picture on my profile is of Me in bali!

Sex and the City: The Movie

In a word: Fabulous.

The ladies are back, their clothes are back, the men are back. And all that is left, the memories. 2 and a half hours of old school SATC wit, the banter, the levity followed by the gravitas of dealing with the complexities of living in the big city, with big dreams, hopes and Mr. Big.

Jennifer Hudson's appearance was welcome and interesting, but truly acting on all sides were just brilliant, New York was the other character that deserved top billing. The city is always beautiful, and always stylish.

We missed the ladies but they have not missed us, their lives have moved on, they've become older but haven't changed one bit and so we follow as they trot, strut and do it all. No spoilers. But yes it is worth every last penny if only to visit New York one last time with these eternal ambassadors.

Clothes: Classic SATC with the "sense" that age brings. Style: Fabulous. Women: Timeless.

I'll miss you Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte, if only because you could make me cry and laugh all within a short 30 minute TV show.

I'm leaving on a Jetplane

All my bags are packed-ish,
I'm ready to go, (YOU cannot believe how ready I am)
I'm standing here outside your cubicle,
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye,
but the lights are coming on,
n' lunch is over,
the officers are waiting,
they're hovering so,
already I'm so glad to say good bye.

So slap me, cos' I can't believe,
tell me that you'll wait for me,
hold on to my slice of cake at home...

Cos' I'm leaving on a jetplane,
just know that i'll be back again,
on the 3rd, coz I don't have enough leave!
Oh man, I hate to go...

See ya Singapore! Hello BALI!

Polo Girls Club

These are the pictures I've taken of this new store I've discovered at Cluny Court near my place. As you can quite clearly see its a store inspired by quirk and fabulousness. And I got to meet the fantastic owner (Holly Tupper) who's settled in Singapore from New York!



And all the stitching on the Polos seen on the second picture are HAND done. Which is quite impressive for this day and age and it gives the material a slightly rough hewn quality that is nonetheless very intricate and on top of all that the little patterns on them are truly beautifully designed. Comparable to those seen @ Shanghai Tang without the kitsch built in.

Will definately be going back there when I save up enough money to buy a shirt or two! Her website's at http://www.pologirlsclub.com

I do believe that Singapore will benefit from attracting more of such boutique locations, not just for clothes but for art, for food etc. It gives our country a fresh, trendier vibe. One that we do need sometimes, and ultimately should cultivate, so support local industry! It doesn't just bring forward a nice lived-in feel but also gives us all the fabulous style synonymous with the modern metropolis. *albeit also at equally fabulous prices*


I think this lamp fits in quite well with the whole vibe of the location.

You can find Ms. Tupper's boutique at 501 Bukit Timah Road, #01-01A Cluny Court.

Oh and btw. One of the reasons I loved this little place so much is Ms. Tupper actually engaged and chatted with me, showed a genuine interest and talked about her clothes PASSIONATELY. Where is the local sales person who would do the same... Sigh. Just as an example, thos of you who know me know that I'm... Plus sized;) so I went to FlashnSplash @Plaza Sing, where the sales person gave me this incredulous look when I asked what their biggest sized board shorts were. Like I owed it to him to be thin... But i'm not overweight! I'm undertall!

The "Ugly Singaporean" Phenomenon?

A friend of mine directed me at this link asking me the simple question: Are ugly Singaporeans the minority or the majority of Singaporeans. There are plenty of ways to explore this question and I could go on for hours. But here's a summary of my major points:
1) Just because someone shouts out angry words and gets it published doesn't mean that person's WHOLE nation is collectively disgustingly insensitive and dumb.
2) So called "developed nations" have their "problem citizens" too. We don't complain about them because their own citizens don't complain about them.
3) There could be a 100 reasons why someone is being "ugly" that day, does it excuse them? No! But does it happen still, hell yes! What can you do about it? Shrug. And repeat after me... Ça? C'est La Vie (That? That is life)

And now the meat of the article.

In dealing with this article, I will not descend into demagoguery and idiotic populist exertions that this person being Malaysian is automatically biased and thus anything he says must be discounted. This is not the case, the author makes certain strong points and this kind of ungracious or discourteous behavior is seen all the time. However to make it seem like Singaporeans are the only people in the world who would do such a thing is not only disingenuous but blatantly false. Let me point out that whilst it is true that "A mature, developed country isn’t defined only by wealth and education; it is also about humanity and concern for others." What is also true is that one who shouts louder or makes a more "newsworthy" statement tends to get his picture taken, comment recorded and invective published. It is however, not by any stretch of imagination an indication of the true behavior of the masses. Just because such "news" is more reportable, doesn't make it the norm present in all nations.

I should also point out that such "developed nations" as France, Italy, and the United States possess people who would laugh at the sleeping homeless person on the road, spitting on his weather beaten face. They shock and appall all those who would pass them by, but it has been recognised that in these places its just what happens. What maturity, and development! These people have recognised that ultimately not everyone will follow the ONE word given by the government. As such, I don't believe ultimately that the behavior of these boors and louts should establish how "developed" a place is, but the response provided should. Is the self-righteous anger followed with half hearted attempts at fixing the root problem? Or is this something that people realise that not everyone can fix, and ultimately a gentle, more subtle touch is required? That is the sign of maturity I think, not hundreds of posters, and thousands of angry blogposts. I do not pretend to know if there is a way to end all such behavior and to pretend to have 1 solution to all the problems is arrogant and ultimately self defeating.

The justification that just because everyone else is doing it so its fine, may seem like the argument I'm making here but I am not. Of course such behavior is not fine. But do these people have a reason to be so unfulfilled and angry? Is that middle aged businessman callousness a result of his inability to care for his fellow man? Is it due to the stress? Is it due to a myriad of factors present? Did he even mean his angry outburt on screen? Ultimately in such a situation where one is faced with a disaster of such immense magnitude, can one really fault the guy for becoming a bit of a bitch? Even if it sounds bleeding insensitive? Of course such a discourse does not make for a good article; for an article seeks to answer questions and not raise them. But I'm a blogger and such constraints bind me not. The solution this man provides however is simplistic, He says that a nation that is truly developed and truly first world and world class would have a citizenry that is also first world and world class. As I have proven already, the truth, the truth that doesn't sell newspapers in the country up north, and the truth that hurts is IT EXISTS EVERYWHERE! EVEN UP IN YOUR COZY LITTLE NORTHERN COUNTRY! Step off your moral high horse and ask yourself, can you say that any of these statements made or actions taken could NEVER happen in your country? F*** off. You know it has happened and it has probably happened in ways that are as unimaginable and as idiotic as you have made Singaporeans seem to be. (Yes, I lied about the demagoguery)

I don't like to say this but, this issue is about as simple as baking a great souffle. There IS no black and white answer. Sure there are "ugly Singaporeans" but someone who's an ÜS today, could be the best tourist Beijing has ever seen tomorrow. It so often depends on the person, and no amount of posters, and training and corporal punishment will change that. I've learned to shrug, just like the French. Because I know something's just meant to be, and we can all take it with a croissant, une petite café and a pack of gitanes.

Impossible for Obama to win over the Islamic World?

Is it really impossible for Obama to win over the Islamic world simply because he was BORN a Muslim? Seeing as how Obama's father's is Muslim, thus he becomes Muslim. His conversion to Christianity will be seen as Apostasy (an act punishable with execution in many Islamic countries and is seen as akin to treason or betrayal in most) to many around the Islamic world, of which there're many important friends and foes, (Saudi Arabia and Iran accordingly). The central premise of this article argues that having a President Obama will irreparably damage relations between such nations and the USA or at least be caught in a situation where relations will not improve.

Is it really going to be like this? Will religious fundamentalism win out? I certainly hope not. What do you think?

Speed Racer

First off, and this is a tangent but... BEING LIBERAL IS NOT THE EQUIVALENT TO DOING SOMETHING WRONG. ABSTINENCE EDUCATION AS A NUMBER 1 PRIORITY HAS BEEN PROVEN TO FAIL AND WE SHOULD REDOUBLE OUR EFFORTS AT PROMOTING IT? HAVE YOU NO LOGIC WHATSOEVER?

With that note I begin my little talky talk about Speed Racer. I've heard so many bad reviews from around me that truly, I was feeling very skeptical. All such thoughts disappeared the moment I stepped into the movie theatre *albeit a little late; Damn* The sequence I caught was quite cute and in some ways an homage to the original SR series from Japan. Just a quick background flashback, the original Speed Racer was from the 60s and was really the first successful Japan to USA anime crossover. It was based on a manga and was basically about, to quote wikipedia: "a teenage boy with superior skills (in this case, racing skills) facing unreal adversity through a multitude of villains" and it really was every boy's dream, to be like Speed, defeating enemies and winning the race. I has some love for this cartoon as a child and that was why I was so excited that it was coming over to the BIG screen.

Speed Racer the movie, on the other hand is done by the Wachowski Brothers, the same people behind V for Vendetta and the Matrix series. On a little side note, the music was done by Michael Giacchino, and was truly amazing. The movie itself was a riot of colour, with brilliant action sequences and a cast that really were as they were, each and everyone of them cast perfectly. Homages abound with the "fights", though I use the term loosely, and the truly hyperkinetic action of the races. Rain's appearance was a little Huh? and I though Susan Sarandon's appearance did take some of the shine away from the other actors who were competent, if not great and the villian *who was also in V for Vendetta* has crystalised in my mind as the quinessential British villian.

There are naturally some problems, some problems that are sure to be a deal killer for some people. Chief among them is the whole cartoony look of it all, YES, it is effectively a live action cartoon, no one for any minute doubted that and to fault the movie for it is idiocy. It has a plot that occasionally slips into typical American melodrama, which is typical but not unexpected and is really the only flaw I can think of. I feel however, if you can enjoy a cartoon, you can and will enjoy Speed Racer.

I loved Speed Racer, it appealed not only to the kid in me, but the action fan in me, and anyone who even has a shred of the need for speed in them should watch this movie. The fact that the movie kept me in the "zone of interest" where I believed and enjoyed the movie the whole time is a testament to the Wachowski brothers' film making ability.

Go Speed Racer, GO!

Burmese Government blocking Aid to Suffering Citizens

The Burmese government has been found to be blocking aid to its citizens, with the suffering they have endured and the pain they're undergoing. Evidently this is an attempt to control the situation, a situation that evidently they have had no control over. The United Nations should, in the words of the French foreign minister, fully exercise its "responsibility to protect" the suffering citizens of Myanmar/Burma. The world fears for the people of Burma, and its suffering cannot continue unabated.

On a separate note, the sham referendum held presently is stunning in its plain blatantness and sheer audacity.

On a personal note, I've donated USD10 to the UNICEF, and USD5 to the International Burmese Monks Organization through Avaaz. Please support the amazing work these organisations are doing.

Original Article found here

Marie Digby Concert

I attended the Marie Digby showcase, which was sponsored by GAP. But I got my tickets courtesy of one of my dear friends from Tania. She provided me those tickets courtesy of her friend @ Soundbuzz so MAD MAD props to all these fantastic people who give me free stuff;)

First off, let me be clear and say I am a HUGE fan of Marie Digby, she's one of those brave souls who've ridden the wave of social networking and so on to become good and famous. With such singers as Sara Bareilles and Colbie Calliat as well, they all rose to semi fame through various online means and have only just managed to break into the mainstream. Its been amazing listening to them as they start off having incredible alt. cred, but on top of that they all write songs and sound really great as is, without too much pretention.

However, I found that the event was much too crowded which lent the whole venue a kinda grungy feel. And it really didn't help that everyone was snapping photographs WILDLY. I know, I know I did it too, but still, it certainly didn't help the atmosphere. The set was kinda short as well... Sigh. I know I know, I'm being Singaporean, complaining about something I GOT FREE!!! So hey, you know what the atmosphere was BRILLIANT, the people were all really high on getting to see one of the hottest singers out there at the moment, and I got a good time all night.

Check out the pictures, also had a brilliant meal which tasted way too good for me to have just IOU'd like 16 dollars (to Ridz) for, afterwards at an Egyptian restaurant. Shout out to DK, Ridz, Xing, Joanna and Ms Kim (what should I call you??? Jean?) (from Simply Jean)!

Pictures here

I disconnected myself unintentionally.

As most of you already know, I was in Seoul between the 1st and the 4th of May. And during that *almost* entire period of time, I was disconnected from the wider world. It was just another day ultimately. I was so caught up with being a TOURIST, I forgot all about checking my Twitter, my facebook, my email etc. I think it was an experience that will hardly be repeated, because I didn't have anything else to distract me. Though I think if I went camping in some far off place with no internet or cell connection, and with like elephant riding, specially reinforced canoes and custom made scuba diving suits, I may actually be able to do this again.

Missing You, Singapore, and ...

http://ridz.sg/blog/1774/the-weekend-i-disconnected-technology/ was the TITLE of a blogpost that inspired me to write this post. Cheers Ridz.

GTA IV Special Edition: A Preview

Just bought GTAIV (Second last set from Guerilla Games @ Serene Centre). It is really a beautiful piece of kit, with some really sweet swag. Top among them, a selection of songs from the GTAIV game. Next up, a WORKING safe deposit box, KEY and all, and a Duffel bag with the Rockstar Logo emblazoned upon it. An Art book rounds off this list of swag along with the game itself.

I am busy slapping my head right now as this afternoon, after seeing some news reports on the various games blogs on GTA's release, I immediately picked up the phone and called to place a pick-up on the game. Cut to 9ish and I was the proud owner, courtesy of the Mom Sponsorship, of GTAIV.

When I popped back home, what should happen but I check my email and receive notice that someone was offering me a copy of GTAIV for review! *not that I wasn't going to anyway, and my first impressions will be noted below* But hot DANG! I felt like I missed a train. But I am also an honest man. So. Yeah. Hem. Gimme something else instead? *COUGH Rock COUGH B... COUGH*

Upon inserting this video game into your console, you're greeted with a typically Rockstar style montage of pictures and immediately after, you are thrown into the game. There is no "select new game, options etc' screen at the start (though that could be because I button mashed alittle) and you're thrown into an opening scene on a boat, and are introduced to Niko Ballic, an Eastern European fellow on his way to Liberty City to chase the big dream and eat sweet sweet American Pie. I must state at this point the credits are shown and you're made to look at it like this is a movie's Cold Open or something to that effect. It is stylistically quite marvelous and though done before, still hasn't gotten old for me.

The visual style can be charecterised as slightly cartoonish, but with the gritty, almost painfully detailed style that has been the signature GTA look. And the graphics are simply stunning. A true LEAP from GTA's previous iteration of San Andreas. Though one can tell that the Xbox 360 has certain slowdown issues even at the very beginning because I could see some stuttering frames as the camera panned across the beautiful vista of Liberty City's skyline and waterfront. I am not sure the PS3 will have similar issues.

I played about 15 minutes of the game and I was hooked. The two charecters you meet are real pieces of work, with Nico and his cousin bantering and swearing at each other. You learn some basic moves and are immediately made to drive the cousin back to his home. The vehicle mechanics are still very GTA-y and are given to that floaty, physics- optional style that one either loves to mess around with or hates when he ends up in the water yet again. And the only problem I had at this very early stage with trying to get Nico to fight. I was taken out 10 minutes into the game, and well, that's just me trying to jack some hudlums' car. I didn't fight back coz I hadn't been taught yet how to defend myself. And sorta had to play by ear to figure it out. Which I did, much to the chagrin and eventual death of some poor little Russian lady sitting at the hospital.

All in all, a GREAT 15 minutes and this is going to be my last post before I fly off to Seoul. I cannot wait. Pics of Special Edition and swag included.

P.S. Those of you looking to pick up GTAIV yourselves but don't have an Xbox are in for a treat. Microsoft is lowering the RRP of their Xbox 360 consoles. Elite will go for S$699, Pro for S$499 and Arcade for S$399. (Disclaimer: I was sent the press release for this price drop from MSFT.)

The Open Room

Two of Tech65's best friends, Brian and Tania held their launch of The Open Room and my GOODNESS, it was as fun as it was going to get. Many companies were represented at the event, Nokia, Canon and Sony spring to mind. Though I have to be honest, and my lateness did not help but I found myself gravitating towards the bloggers and the peeps I knew more than the people who brought in the stuff. Don't get me wrong there were the great guys, Nokia and Intel reps jump to mind, who were like just out there and PIMPING their stuff and talking to us and seeming to be REALLY interested in the stuff that we were doing, and there were certain other companies who didn't really seem to care whether we looked at them at all. I just think that if you're going to come for such an event, the least you could do is talk to some of us... Though I do have to say that I was quite late, so maybe they were tired but you know what? That does not make me any less of a diva-blogger! And that will not make me bitch any less about it. I didn't take any pictures personally but all the other attendees did so... shameless plug for other people's blog I guess.

Shout out to Nadnut; great to meet ya!

We're RIGHT LALALALALALALALALA

We're right and that's all that matters, No NO, WE are right. NO! SHHH! Wrong! RIGHT is ME. NO. I can't hear you. Black Supremacy, Black Supremacy, Separatist, Obama wants to bomb Pakistan to kingdom come LALALALAL NONONO! LALALA SHHHH!

Tech65's Condundrum

Lately it has come to our attention that certain users of Tech65's blog have not been able to access our blog. And it appears that these users are by and large users of Singtel's broadband service or of Wireless@SG's broadband service. I am presently a user of Starhub for all of my communications services save for my cellphone service. As anyone can imagine it has been terrifyingly disappointing. I post my dear friend Farinelli's (RenHao's) post here for all to puruse (with some edits of my own):

For about two weeks, starting on the Saturday when we recorded our live show for the 65th episode of 65bits, Tech65.org has been inaccessible through Singnet broadband and wireless@sg. The only way we are aware of so far to get through this problem is to create a proxy at proxy.singnet.com.sg, port 8080.

I think we're pretty sure it isn't a block by Singnet, because 5% of the time it is accessible - a block wouldn't let that happen. It is clearly some sort of connection problem, something that unfortunately after many many attempted solutions, have not lead to improved connections, and our confidence in the services provided by Singtel has completely failed at this juncture. Particularly because of the lack of support from Singtel themselves, something that has infuriated us very much.

This problem has affected our listenership very negatively, especially in recent episodes, even though many of our listeners subscribe to our show through iTunes and our RSS feeds, everything still has to go through our site, and not being able to connect to Tech65 has impeded our ability to continue providing service as many of our editors are on Singtel.

My dear readers and listeners, please blog about this as well on your respective spaces. Let the blogosphere know in your own way about this bizarre problem, and be sure to let us know if you are encountering the same problem with your site. We hope to resolve this soon and get our shows back on the smooth track.

Thank you for your support!

*Thanks to Fari for most of this text*

It is an effect

It is an effect of the long nights you kept,
the wrong thoughts you had,
the strong lives you've met,
the weak moments you gave.

It is an effect that gave,
you countless maddening thoughts,
countless sleepless nights,
empty desperate cries,
for help, for love, for loss, for longing.

Those blue skies,
you dreamt of,
since the last time you spoke,
to him,
your tangible thoughts,
your intangible words,
they give little meaning to me.


I know not what I feel,
I know not what I'm writing,
The criticism inevitably will point to lack.
A lack of ingenuity, of creativity, of strength, of character.

It is an effect of living this modern life.

- To You, The Humble Honest Reader, in a vainglorious hope that you shall not rip my piece to shreds.

Dark Chocolate, Cocoa, and Chocolate Chip Cookies

AKA Devil's Sin's 666 Cookies

This is a recipe I cadged from Chocolate and Zucchini with slight modifications. Ok. Large Modifications because I made 120 or so as opposed to 60 as the recipe called for. The trick to do it quick though is to use one of those plastic fruit bags from supermarkets and put the dough in it, cut off a corner and pipe your mixture to perfection.

Biscuits Chocolat et Cacao et Plus De Chocolate

240 g Lindt 85% Chocolate
250 g President French Butter (I used WAY too much butter, the recipe recommended 220g)
6 eggs, lightly beaten
1 cup brown sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour
250g unsweetened cocoa powder (I used Cadbury's)
3 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
8 tablespoons Nestle Tollhouse Chocolate Chips

Makes about 120 bite-size cookies, or as preferred

Melt together 120 g of the chocolate and all of the butter in a small saucepan over low heat. Tranfer into a large mixing-bowl and let cool for ten minutes. In the meantime, combine the flour, cocoa powder, and baking powder in another mixing-bowl, and set aside. Finely chop the reserved chocolate, and set aside.

Whisk the eggs into the cooled melted chocolate (V IMPT). Add in the sugar and mix again. Sift in the flour mixture, and stir with a wooden spoon until well combined. The batter will be thick. Fold in the chopped chocolate, chocolate chips and table salt.

Preheat the oven to 180° C (350° F) and line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.

Scoop out rounded teaspoons of batter, shape them into balls with the tips of your fingers, and line them up on the cookie sheet, leaving a one-inch space between them. Put the cookie sheet in the refrigerator for ten minutes (if the sheet and batter are cold, the cookies are less likely to spread). Put the cookie sheet into the oven to bake for eight to ten minutes, until the tops feel just dry to the touch. Don’t overbake, or they won’t be as moist inside. BUT my advice is to overbake slightly if you're following my recipe exactly as the chocolate chips will melt while cacao nibs from the original recipe won't, unless you LIKE the cookies I had EXACTLY like I had it today, also your cookies should not be TOO big if not they fall apart EVEN easier.

Here's the original recipe.

Some pictures:


C'est Ma Petite Belle!

Xbox 360 2nd Anniversary Bloggers Meet

First things first, and even though the news IS already out but we WERE the first to hear this GLOBALLY so boo to Joystiq.com. BUT here's the news Lucasarts' new game, Force Unleashed will land September 16th in the United States, September 17th in Southeast Asia and Australia, and September 19th in Europe. YES. This game'll be amazing and the videos we saw, but couldn't take pictures of were ultimately incredible. The physics were out of this world and you really could see the power of the force completely unrestrained and unleashed. Amazing SICK stuff...

However, that was just one specific thing in an event that really did blow it out of the water for me. Interesting finger foods (though I have to ask, who serves chicken wings at an event without any cutlery/crockery at all...), great conversation, free flowing beverages, a TORRENT of things to do, see, interact with, talk about and finally a great looking location that was only slightly marred by its PHYSICAL location, a bit of a find if you ask me, but no matter. The people from Microsoft seemed genuinely interested in what we bloggers thought, and were actually reaching out to us and to try and get us psyched about the various Xbox games and so on, and I must say that the strategy worked!

One of the games that I want to talk about personally which really SPIKED my interest was this game Mirror's Edge by EA. *Full Disclosure: Mom works there* This is a game based on the idea that in a world poisoned by an overbearing government, information has to get out, and this can only be done through Parkour-utilising, chop-socky Runners. I have not seen gameplay but from a video shown it involves lots of running round roof tops and fighting without ever picking up a GUN! Love the idea, hope the execution will be flawless and the record of DICE's previous accomplishments (Battlefield series) inspires such confidence in me.

Let me round off by commending Microsoft for pursuing the blogosphere, and trying to reach out to the more unconventional sources of news and information. The microsofties have shown a LOT of love in general to us players in Singapore, with the sheer variety of games available, great product support in general and plenty of events to keep us interested. I had a PS2 and PS1 and I liked them, but its the Xbox 360 that I truly do love. So keep up the loving MSFT.

I've posted my pictures here. Please help me tag the photos properly!

Falling away into insanity's abyss, as macabre fireworks bloom

I credit Wong Renhao with the title of this poem.

As the flowers bloom,
so goes the flame,
with its effervescence,
the bubbly, the blossom,
it expands to fill the glittering
Shadows of the heart.

The insanity of loneliness,
as she sat in the zephyr,
her chocolate locks,
that drizzled like melt'd cream,
the taste of the spices that
drove me to long,
for one last touch.

As the fireworks fade,
the disgust sets in,
the cloud of smoke fades to reveal,
a night sky devoid of previous beauty,
the disgust,
a beauteous cavity, emptied by the love.

In the end, does it matter at all?
Does it matter to you now?
Or to me then?
For the lack of true fireworks,
I have to content myself with the blue skies
above your head, the same sky that is above mine.

We belong together,
and I hold all that is
just between you and I.

The spirits I hold in my heart,
threatening to be unleashed,
A vodka of Fear,
A 7&7 of Jealousy,
A Cosmo of Lust...

Let me fall again into your gravity,
let me sink into your wretched depths,
let me gaze at the wonders of the firey plumes,
let me dance, for the naked dances of the childish,
let me regale the wonders of your song

How wonderful life is,
now you’re in the world.
I believe that,
I still do,
I must believe that,
For we are all bound by our singular nature.

This poem ends not,
for it its never ending,
insanity's infinity.
I will never finish this poem,
for as long as I know to love.

I am SO gonna miss Project Runway

This is just one MASSIVE inside joke. But Its so funny, I don't even care.

The One Laptop Per Child Project

This simple laptop is built with one thing in mind, Kids. And not like some dinky laptop that has a 5 line dot matrix screen and loud beeps and wails, this is effectively a fully functional 433mhz Geode *basically really really really slimmed down Athlon*, 1200x900 black and white, 256 megs of RAMed laptop. This may sound like absolute piffle for the average techy, but know that this can be powered by simply cranking a crank, it can be read in BRIGHT sunlight, and this is the truly amazing bit, Wi-Fi capable through a mesh network. To use a car analogy, this is the Toyota Corolla to your Lamborguini Core Two Duo.

Another amazing feat is that this is based off a Linux Core. and makes use of a Graphical User Interface that is completely different from your windows or even Mac. Its designed for kids and for their education. The operating system has had ALL the fat trimmed away from it, and again just like your toyota corolla, its not fast, its not flashy, it goes from a to b and doesn't drink fuel like its free. Whereas the Lambo can be frequently unreliable, it can go very fast, but needs to be well maintained and must be taken out to the clubs to please the ladies. This is an insanely practical piece of kit and has the potential to lift so many children out of poverty and give them a chance to compete in the future economy.

This is brilliant in its simplicity.While this clearly could not have been possible twenty years ago, today, it is an example of how incredible technology can come together and create something that will truly change the world. This project headed by Nicholas Negroponte, whose resume reads like a veritable "mama i want to be him when I grow up" list. He's on the Board of Motorola, he's the Co-founder and director of MIT's Media Lab. The list goes on and on, and as he's had his finger deep in the tech world since who know's when and is ideal for heading up such a momentuous task!

By the way, MSFT has taken some of this kit and is working on it for something or other... And intel's initial rejection of Negroponte's has spawned their own attempt at targeting children as a Market?! Well, we all have to start somewhere, and I (Jerrick) is FULLY in support of this programme that could change the lives of so many.

N.B. This post was actually dated sometime in 2007. But for some reason it was saved as a draft. I'm posting this here now in all its glory.

A Hug

A hug is something you give to your friends when they feel down, or when you meet them or whatever. But I find the most telling hug is the one you're given or you give when you meet someone, its the first most visceral reaction you have to a person, and yet somehow, its also the most intimate gesture you can give someone.

It used to be that I thought I gave the WORST hugs. Like straight backed and stiff, awkward mostly. And I always believed that it was due to my height or something. But I found that I can and do hug just fine, and its not just with friends but with people I find I like and the only problems I've had with hugging family was with people who had problems hugging themselves. So it turns out that its just selected people who get the short end of the stick sometimes, and its often at the most awkward of times that it gets weird. To take an example, at the passing of a certain teacher, I had the most difficulty ever hugging his wife. But when I received an award from her, it was fine. I don't know if there is a logical conclusion to this post but I'm gonna persevere.

My theory is that ultimately you're only as comfortable hugging someone, as that someone is comfortable hugging you. And I'm glad some of my friends have shown me the truth in that. I think I'm at peace now and I can't wait for the stuff that this year's gonna throw at me.

The 5 Stages

Denial

I don't know,
I don't get it.
I don't want to know,
I don't want to get it.
Did it happen?

Anger
What did you eat? Did you honestly believe that your ACTIONS have no implications? I will RANT and I will WHINE but you SIR are a class A nutcase. No wonder you have no friends, if this is how you treat your best friends, then Fuck who cares how you treat your other friends. Your emotional maturity compels you to burn all your bridges, and I must say good riddance, praise the lord and thank Guan Yin. It is borderline disgusting. Who does that, What kind of idiot spouts this self involved crap about being above all this and so on. If you want the classic defination of therapied out? You got it my friend. Go sit under your shelter rock, because you, sir cannot be a friend. You sir have disappointed me one more time, you vindicate everything He's told me about you, ever last foible and why am I entitled to say that? Why? because YOU YOU for all your poseur shite, don't deserve the kind of support people have given you. No one gives away anything for free, and you give nothing, take away nothing and end up with nothing. So go on, rise above, Rise, for you will need to be above all this. 飞禽走兽. Just something random coz twas looking it up.

Bargaining

No, I refuse to believe this is the end. You of all people know that I don't give up, I don't burn bridges. As asinine as it may sound, but I believe that ultimately I never believe that its the end.


Depression

Twas yesterday,
Twas yesterday that I felt a sadness
fleeting
like a Suzhou Winter Snow
Snow that comes, and turns into mud,
and then Black Ice

Acceptance

Have I accepted it?
Nah I don't think so,
I'm just sure that in the end,
We will be stronger.
I will go on, I will find solace.
I know you will too.
In whom and when?
We will never know.

Allons-Y!

My friend,
Who was so shocked,
appalled,
and invoked the winds of silence.

My friend,
You told me truths?
With those tales of,
woe, anguish, fear, doubt.

My friend,
I've not a doubt,
Nay a tale of woe,
Never an ounce of anguish,
but I always fear,
that I would say one thing,
and You would leave, run, desert, allons-y!

My friend,
I worry for you,
I worry for you and yours,
In all its finality,
I worry about the time that will come.

My friend,
You are my friend,
with or without labels,
You are a friend because you're here for me,
A friend who attaches no conditions,
who brooks no BS,
and my friend,
Allons-Y, onward past the savages,
they know not the things we share.

Je Suis Fatigué

Its tiring, its tiring to live everyday just looking forward to the next meal, to the next miracle unveiled by the wizards of Techland. And the presence of the lord has given me some solace sometimes, the strength to look beyond this desolate expense of nothingness, to a time of "freedom" from within and without.

I want to get a scholarship, bonded or whatever, because independence from my parents is something I feel I should possess. I know, I got the world handed to me on a platter. But somehow, I just find this plate, this beautiful exquisite plate is one that comes with many conditions on sale. I am not saying I regret it, or feel resentment, I just want to know what it is like to have to depend on something else other than the unconditional love that comes with the package deal. A love that has its attendant responsibilities, and obligations. Ones that have to be fulfilled either way, and yet somehow, knowing that I have options, alternatives is a comfort. One that can soon enough become a crutch if not handled correctly.

Oh why did I make it so difficult.

A Smell

I can just smell the upcoming ORD even though it is almost 6 months away still. This is particularly strong now that Dom's had his ORD dinner. I really want to move on, onward to freedom and so on. This is it isn't it?

I never liked the idea of secrets, as such always had somewhat of a disdain for it.

The Hundredth Post

This post, my hundredth post will be a post for milestones. Milestones achieved, and surpassed. Not just personally but for the people around me.

I am almost at the end of my service in the Singapore Civil Defence Force, in fact there is about 229 days left and every single day that I pass in this force reinforces my belief that it can be as good as you choose to make it out to be, or as horrific as you choose to make it out to be. Ultimately it is up to you.

I am 19 turning 20 and I've accomplished certain things with my life, but living alone *effectively* for the past couple of years has told me that I am and can be independent, but has also showed me the true value of companionship camaraderie. I treasure my friends, my family and the people around me more for this experience.

I am 1/5th of an elite team of Podcasters, all of whom are warm, friendly, helpful, and yet appreciative of humour, serious when need be, and have shown me confidence, humility, and love for technology, contemporary issues and all my pet peeves.

This day marks the day I won my iPod from Microsoft. Yes. An iPod. From Microsoft. The irony has not escaped me. But is that not my life? Irony after Irony. So much so that sarcasm is my middle name, and periodic cynicism from me is expected.

The Judge

You brought this upon yourself, said the judge sternly, looking down on the defendant/accuser/witness/lawyer/jury. With the Righteous fury vested in me, I must pronounce you guilty. The crowd stared at him and asked one question in unison, all expecting, What is he guilty of? He is guilty of Guilt! Of that sinful emotion, of that life sapping sensation that confuses him, when all that is obvious is obscured. I sentence you to self-exile! You can't do that the crowds screamed. And why can't I? The judge bellowed, sonorous and exultant, Je Suis Vous! Et Vous Etes Moi! I am You and You are Me! And the scene faded with a pan across the ornate, musty, delicious chocolate furnished room, into an oblivion filled only with silence and the knowledge of what he was too weak to do.

The Confusion

When It Came down to it, I realised that its too easy to look away, to try and find an alternative, and yet I knew, that ultimately I can only choose one or the other.

The Now, or The Future.

Or Neither.

And it seems like this impossible situation of living, has become the definition of living. And I cannot understand it anymore, cannot continue like this. All this has become so tiring and yet its a kind of ennui induced fatigue. Just too tired to try anything. Too tired to do anything. Too tired.

Somehow it is no longer a comfort but a nervous tension. And its Me. Its nothing to do with them/you/us/me/her/Mom/Dad/Bro. I am too quick and my defenses while adequate for the odd argument, the evenly matched discussion, is mere glass for those who deign interest, who just want to talk, who love but cannot express, who enjoy my company.

Has it always been that easy to figure me out? That euphoric state of trance that you get when you hear, when you see, when you smell. That somehow these states of mind were only the illusion, to deceive, to give you the false hope that somehow all this could last... beyond an expensive plane ticket, and an almost insurmountable distance.

Saint Valentine

Saint Valentine must be a pimp,
with fish swimming in his platforms,
with big-ass sunglasses,
with syncopated rhythms,
stolen from pink cards

Saint Valentine must be an angel,
Drifting through azure and sangria,
bestowing unbeknown wonders on those who believe,
believe in the unforgettable,
and dream of their deep city dreams.

Saint Valentine must be a sadist,
taunting us, those without,
those who just want to live this day like any other
enjoying the jealous looks thrown,
thrown like a towel into the ring.

Saint Valentine must want love to prevail,
he created this day for you and me,
for him and her, him and his, they and them,
to forget that would be disappointingly human,
and yet I am forced to by exigencies of the service,
to sit this one out, even when,
...

Saint Valentine's all of these things,
to all of us,
its up to us to believe,
in this Clausian charecter,
that a rose deliever'd by a burst of light,
through the ether that is Fibre-Optic,
that a cheap card, dinner and 2 kisses,
1 lip/1 cheek,
or just the simple Happy V-Day *Just like in '45*
still works.

It works. It just does.

Chinese New Year's Eve Eve

Here I am sitting here, with my parents after a great meal at Corduroy and Fitch down Bukit Timah Road, off 6th Ave. Watching Golf. Waiting for the enforced gaity to begin.

Just alittle annoyed at work right now, but nothing new really. Same old issue, different if weird timing.

Music Is My Hot, Hot Sex.

I'm Peeved: With Overzealous Singaporeans

Today I enjoyed my dinner at one of my (EX) favourite eateries, the Soup Spoon. I've been a customer with them since back when they were only like one or two shops, I would just bout every week, hop over to the little stand at Novena Square. And even after I left the country and came back I would go back every once in a while to have something there. I guess expansion (I was at the stall in Bugis btw) has not brought along with it better service staff.

Today, I was greeted with the most unexpected metaphorical SLAP in the face by one of their staff. When I was ushered to my seat, whilst I was carrying a nice hot bowl of soup, this little boy (or at least he looked like one; couldn't have been more than 14) was all polite and all. I had fully intended to write a glowing review and put on some nice pics on this post. This post that is now given to a rant, because I took pictures of the food, and the boy was asking me what it was for, and I said it was for my blog. Some moments later, the same boy came up to me, and said, "I'm sorry sir, you cannot take pictures of our food, it is in direct violation of our copyright".

So, without thinking very much, I just whipped my phone out, and proceeded to delete my pictures. At this point i was still quite chill, coz I didn't want to make a scene/dismember the small child accidentally with my broad sweeping gestures when I get worked up. However, he then said that he would need to look at my phone to check that I didn't have any photos left. And then I lost it, I apologised through gritted teeth and asked to speak to his manager. The manager, did NOT even have the courtesy to come over and speak to me, sending the boy over again some mintues later saying that it was ok now and so on.

Let me point out, that I had firstly GRACIOUSLY said that I would delete the photographs, and let me further point out, that COPYRIGHT only applies to things that are "works" such as paintings, or books, NOT a meal; and definitely not for things like bowls of soup, and so on. In fact, by asking me to delete my pictures, I was WILLFULLY giving up my copyright to those pictures because they were mine and my own. I would like to also say that I didn't try and steal recipes, I did not try and learn trade secrets, I just wanted to post a GOOD review on my blog. A review that could have and would have garnered good publicity for this stall. I do NOT blame the boy, he was obviously acting on orders. But who else is to be blamed?

PS. Soup truly was good, Had the basil and tomato thingy, and their set meal isn't too bad, what with the sandwich and drink. I mean 9 dollars for a complete meal in town, WoW.

Sexy Beijing

Taken from Gadling.

This interesting little vodcast-like parody of Sex and the City, though a lot less... Sex, a LOT more city. I think its amazing that the host speaks such great chinese, chinese that I may be hard pressed to muster. And this content actually is quite good. You go GRRL!

See for yourself the first episode.

Somehow

There's something in the air,
some change'ed quality,
the darkness that pervaded my soul,
now enters into that space,
where the purity of light,
of time, of destiny,
where is the meaning?

Why does she do what she does,
artfully avoiding,
skillfully turning,
gracefully skimming,
I can only deign to guess.

Is it fear?
Is it me?
Is it you?
Is it them?
Is it too much?
Is it too soon?
Is it complicated?
Is it effortless?

Somehow, for someone,
so used to insincerity,
so used to concealment,
so cynical,
so uninterested.
I've got my interest back.
I fear the 5 year old,
will reassert himself,
taking away what little
I have.

Somehow, I must say,
that in the end,
ultimately,
these are just words.

My Cup

I broke my cup today,
it had an inkyness,
I always assiociated with her.
Somehow its now gone,
and I am without a cup.

A Strong Hand

Those of you who don't already know, I will be playing Russia in the IAEA in the upcoming NTUMUN 2008. It is particularly interesting when one is allowed to simply play the arrogant son of a mother in the room and actually have it be considered a necessary part of the simulation. I am not saying Russian foreign policy is inherently arrogant and son-of-a-gun-ish but recent performance has been particularly indicative of an aggressive nation. Though strangely enough, our goals seem largely to line up with those of the USA on the issue of nuclear proliferation, but can and probably will be expected to put our own stamp on the proceedings. Its interesting isn't it, to see how I can play this out.

A strong hand is needed in any activity being conducted, and one has been a witness of the lack of such clarity recently. It is regarding the organisation of a particular event, and in the run up of the events, one must provide a public presentation. However, it seems people have got it into their heads that this task can be accomplished by asking certain unqualified people to provide for and somehow create a great looking presentation, something on the level of what one could get from the outside is simply not plausible.

It seemed like somehow the creative process was to be outsourced to one of the drunk monkeys typing away trying to create Shakespeare's writings, the duck that sits next to it quacking, and a hippo that dwells in a waterhole, (Though these animals are very tech savvy, thus fulfilling the cool factor) and the expectation was of a professional, well designed, under cost presentation. Somehow, it got into the heads of management that these animals are design gods who can in one single stroke, provide the marketing for a multi-million Hollywood movie, launch 2 operating systems for profit and create the marketing campaign for half a dozen Apple products. One may laugh, but the truth of the matter is, there's nothing and everything is somehow expected. The phrase "ask the animals, they're really good at such things, one" has been heard repeatedly, and yet somehow, if these gods were so good, why are their designs periodically disregarded and given over to others to design, or worse, watered down.

Its almost as if there is this compulsive need to obtain something just so that one can have something to reject, and if it was to accepted and were then to fail, the monkey, hippo and duck can take the fall. One has to beg the question, why can't they have just outsourced this entire project in the first place, it would have removed the compulsive need to micromanage (truly the biggest problem), and the whole layers of bureaucracy problem. May we also add lastly that the instructions for this endeavour was not passed on directly from the top to the design "team" but through 3 or more levels of bureaucracy. One cannot understand is why such things even need to be evaluated at the very top, this is not for the people at the "top", it is for those with no clue at all what is going on in the first place, so is it not true that those at the top cannot provide objective evaluation.

It is unfortunate though, that one shall not be the only person who would ever go through such examples of human behavior; somehow everyone will have undergo it at some point. Such are the symptoms of management.

Rethink Customer Service

My friend Evan told me that this shop's, Jaben Network, service was impeccable, and I thought, No, that can't be true. Its some small little shop located out at this ulu place... Adelphi what?

BOY! was I in for a surprise. I mean previously I had bought in-ear earbuds from that place and I thought meh, nothing spectacular. Just in, tried a few other phones, tried my set of phones, and out. But today was an example of true service at work.

I walked in listening to a piece of music, was it from Madonna or J Lo. I forget but I walked in with the Allessandro MS-1s on my mind, and I set out to try them out, unfortunately the place was noisy with some oldies playing and people chatting and generally having a good time. Fortunately Uncle Wilson, through all of the conversations taking place directed at him, to him, over his head, towards his glorious speakers, paid me all the attention I needed as I tried out cans ranging from 165(the MS1s) to 400 plus dollars (Some Expensive brand's 860s). All of them impressive, and all of them receiving through consideration from the master himself, Uncle Wilson.

I then asked if there was any way I could get a new set of more comfortable *tips?* for my Crossroads (The earbuds mentioned earlier). He just grabbed a pair of $6 tips out of a bag, and gave them to me. I was stunned. When I decided to buy the MS-1s soon after, he said its your lucky day... and pulled out a BEAUTIFUL wooden box. And gave it to me free. My jaw hit the floor. It was a $48 dollar box, and I was only grabbing a rather plain jane set of Headphones. I paid, and was thanking and thanking Oncle Wilson, *it sounds better in French, non?*. On the way out of the shop, I stopped and stared at the new CrossRoads X3i-s that had come in, they were beautiful earphones and I asked casually about them. Boy was I glad I did. Uncle Wilson asked me to come try them out, and as soon as I was done praising them, he said, come I'll trade up your old Mylarones for the new ones. I was floored again. A USD53 value, ... for free. I was simply speechless at the end of it all.

Freebies aside *though it always helps*. This kind of service, cannot be found anywhere else in Singapore. You are not only rewarded for repeated custom, but treated like an old friend, given preferential service effortlessly, and treated like a customer, one that wants to buy things from you again and again, and not like a thief that has entered your shop to try and finagle the loss inducing price from you. Such service, such attention is a dying trade in a country that has been ranked 26th in surveys.

Which brings me to ask, if the Audiophile world can have such great service, why not the PC buying/selling world. Why can't they take care of us as well as we take care of them. Is it really because all Singaporeans are so cheap? Because yes, we may go for the best deal, and in the process put up with the long lingering stares as though WILLING you to buy something, or the blatant rudeness, *except to foreigners*, but why can't there be a Jaben Like store in Singapore. A place where one can get exceptional prices, immensely friendly service and none of that bull that other places try to pull, a place where once can truly feel like a customer, and not like the little kid who's being bullied at school to give all his money away. Is it really true that your margins are SO thin that you cannot afford to give good service? I don't really know, but I suspect that this is simply because PC peripherals have become such a commodity that one can't expect to get good service anymore. Just commodity-esque service. There's no feeling left, no emotion, just a transaction and boom done. Should there then be the creation of an elite set of peripherals? Catered to the elite? Yes, and yes it has been done, but not in Singapore sadly, and not for anything less than the top of the range. The question that begs then, is why can't they made PC-phile mid range and low range cards/processors/ram chips etc. Stuff that gives the pro-sumer and mild enthusiast shudders simply for the amazing value it offers. These questions though valid, I cannot answer and yet somehow I wish someone could.

happy birthday

These eyes stare out of the window,
longing for that summer rainbow.
The crisp dew-like sigh that floats,
a sound that I can almost see,
that makes me wish I had a boat.

The rhymes that I form in my sleep,
in the dreamlike state that is so deep,
the crisp, tender touch,
that gives me -oh so much.
Who can save me now,
from that painful... ow!

She reminds me of a shiver,
that involuntary tremble,
that sets off a sliver of warmth,
resembling pleasure,
resembling fear.

Oh how I miss her twinkling eyes,
her sparkling smile,
her shining aura,
her various other cliches.

Even her strawberry scent,
I knew it meant,
that now and again,
I must abstain from those thoughts.
Of her.

Eyes that glisten like the fresh snow,
you told me about this afternoon,
snow that falls once in a while,
snow that beggars belief,
snow that is cold to the touch.

I'd kiss you for your birthday,
If I could grow wings,
If I could swim, run, fly, bribe, extort, blackmail,
my way to China.
Underneath that veneer of childish manliness,
and a slight fetish for overpriced things,
I'm your friend always.

Happy Birthday, Beautiful girl.

One Last Return

I've said many times already, that "This is my last trip to China." Somehow, it never is quite the last trip. I return again and again, invariably with excuses, Oh I'm here to visit friends, to visit family, to visit the Suzhou Museum. But, sad to say all these excuses are only part of the truth. I think I've begun to call it home. A second home, A place where I can feel safe and somehow know my way around. And yet as time has passed, as I've been away, this feeling has also worn away ever so slightly, its a little like returning to a place you've lived in many many years ago, and finding that the new owners have changed the colour of the tiles, sold away your secret hideaway cabinet (Or you tell yourself).

Somehow, after all the changes that Singapore had undergone, when I returned it did not feel that different. Whereas Suzhou was like going back to an ex girlfriend, or so I hear lol, my ex *singular* is not like that... but trying to sound literature-y is always difficult... anyway back to the point, its like returning and finding that she has aged, she's had work done that didn't quite turn out well *botched boobies* etc. It was quite disconcerting and yet quite reassuring. That time has passed and I am but only one small part of this great and unstoppable machine.

The changes wrought on the "small" Chinese city of Suzhou, has not, fortunately, changed the way my parents treat me whenever I return to China. There was the outburst of emotional caring, lots of loving, extra food, general attention being given to me. If not for certain things that did happen whilst in China, I'm certain my gratitude would have been boundless and eternal. Underneath it all, I think my parents probably find it rather odd that I'm no longer by their side, and I am just generally glad that I still have such a place in their hearts. *Still can't teach me to drive properly though*

I am blessed to have met up with my friends, Amy, Tanja, Ben, Jocelyn, Vi, Trixie, and all the SSISians that remember me etc. I am blessed to have been showered with affection, to have gone to see a ballet, to take and give precious things. I am being sentimental, and when I'm sentimental I can't write without slipping into theatrics. So I shall stop. I love y'all.

You Know

You Know when You think about her,
When you think of the gentle touch,
the stiff breeze, and the softness that glows,
the broken hearts and tender promises,
the dark, knowing smiles,
and joyful grins.

You know.

In the Still of the Night
Cole Porter
In the still of the night
As I gaze from my window
At the moon in its flight
My thoughts all stray to you

In the still of the night
All the world is in slumber
All the times without number
Darling when I say to you

Do you love me, as I love you
Are you my life to be, my dream come true
Or will this dream of mine fade out of sight
Like the moon growing dim, on the rim of the hill
In the chill, still, of the night

Like the moon growing dim, on the rim of the hill
In the chill, still, of the night