Clerk!

Why an exclamation mark you might ask? Well the answer is simple. I am a Clerk in Training now. I shout out Clerk Course in an exclamation of unity with the rest of my Clerks in training, whenever we get dismissed or greet a superior officer.

I just realised that I haven't blogged at all about all my time in BRT. Its strange but cannot be helped. It was a mass of 7 weeks, filled with pain, suffering, sweetness, with the tang of human sweat. Not a nice sight, smell, etc. I swear to you. Nevertheless, I've come out of it all, that much more appreciative of the things that are in my life. The iPods, the cellular phones, the MSN contacts that I maintain. These little things make my life all the more bearable.

Thank You, the ladies in my life. Without Grandmama, Both of you I wouldn't be walking around. Without the pretty girls waiting all over the world, I'd be alone.

Thank you, Dad, coz well You're Dad. And Mom, Coz you're the only Mom worth having.

Casino Royale

The cool breeze as you step
into the room.
Your eyes, with a glance takes it in,
the knowledge that the room knows
Knows you are here.

The old whales, they stoop over their chips,
the young and fab, want to bed you.
And yes, she arrives.

She who is yours simply because you're you.
You're the inevitable embrace,
and grace,
bodies intertwined.

The demonstration of your powers, your license.
Your own decisions, the life, death, the love.
Its all there. Take it with the responsibility?
No, take it with a martini, shaken.

Deck of cards. Aces
A stare from the Sharp.
You know as always, the fate of the free world
in your hands. And yes, everything ends.

Orbis Non Sufficit. You need to be Bond, just for once, for
the once in a while.

The Expected

The expected,

The expected is what came.
What came to you in a flash of light.
When you know its going to happen.
A deja vu
Almost.

You cannot help but ask why.
Why me?
Why did it come to me?

I expected it.
I did
Did expect it

Did I?
Why is this poem even called The Expected?

The phone rang and I was thinking,
just before about something mundane.
Something material, Something that always becomes insignificant.

Just before.
You know before the night falls
The Shadow
Just before they arrive.
I must be there!

I must make sure that this is not the end.
No, Never The End.
Fair Enough.

You expected it didn't you? Didn't you?!
If you did, then why are you being a little Puss.
A Puss which mews

She's my grandmother.

A Lack Of Faith

By the time you were Six,
Your mother told you,
those few stories...

What about the knowledge you held,
to be true? All your youthful learnings.
All those dusty books with self-confident learned words,
What happened when modernity
stepped into your life?

You found your faith unable to cope
With the fear.
Horror.
That this century has provided.
And yet you know His name.

His name which echoes in different languages
Everyone knows Him.

What about I?
My mother told me no stories!
What little I learned, I gleaned from Grandmama.
With her rituals and how she taught me.

She would tell me that I would be protected by Guan Yin.
When I prayed for good results, for safe passage.
And I've got that. I've got all that.
Did I really believe in Her?
A part of me would shout out yes.
But only to be drowned again by the learned men, the white suits, the pocket protectors.

How does one lose his faith.
If he never had one in the first place.
Did I ever have faith?
Faith in science? - Bullcrud.
That's a load of crap. Its everchanging state, its points and counterpoints, its constant need to evolve and better itself.
How can one have faith in that? That which inspires so little faith, that even its own scientists try to disprove themselves.

But to believe... To truly believe. I can't do that!
I just can't! I need proof.
Not want. Not desire.
Need.
I have nothing to feel faith for/towards/onto.
How I wish I could taste them all,
Just a sample then... A taste of faith. Without the whole need to devote
Mind Body Soul.

Need?
Need.